Boundaries are healthy. Enabling any sort of abuse is not Christ-like. The Savior had firm boundaries. You can forgive someone and move on without them in your life. You can say, “I forgive you. I sincerely hope you are happy. I wish you the best. Goodbye.” Unfortunately, there are selfish people whose actions ruin lives and families. If someone hurts you and/or those you love and then tries to guilt you back into the relationship, you are dealing with a manipulator (especially when there is money involved). Whether they believe themselves to be or not is irrelevant. For many, it’s a way of life. It may be how they were raised. Other people’s needs, including children, come second to a what the manipulator wants. It is heartbreaking for everyone in the situation. But manipulation is manipulation. You didn’t ask for this pain, you didn’t do the hurting, but here you are. They refused to get help. They refused to change. You don’t want revenge. You don’t want them to burn in hell. You simply want distance.

To think you have to return to a potentially cruel and painful relationship in order to forgive is simply not true. They’ll tell you that you are the one doing harm. Somehow they delude themselves into thinking they are the “righteous” one. The truth is that some relationships need to be severed in order for everyone involved to move forward and heal. Yes, even in families. The trauma of betrayal can be too overwhelming to be able to be in close proximity to the betrayer. This doesn’t mean you haven’t forgiven. It means you are trying to keep yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy for those you love.