Where and when do you feel most valuable, loved, and important?
Obtaining meaning from anything earthly is a dangerous practice because the standards can be changed at anytime.
Comparison based identity will eventually devastate you because there will always be someone who has more than you.
Earthly standards of value are unreachable goals because the finish line is always changing.
The Lord is unchanging. Ask Him to show you your true value. Ask Him to rid you of meaningless mortal desires and replace them with eternal perspective and purpose.