I hope I won’t be misunderstood on this one. I do not believe in using the word boundaries to cut people off simply because they do or don’t do what you want. That is manipulation. When I talk about boundaries, I’m talking about protecting yourself and others from emotional, physical, sexual, or any other form of abuse. I’m also talking about having difficult conversations, not giving someone the silent treatment. Saying the word “boundaries” to avoid topics or issues is just immaturity in disguise.

With that said, asking someone to be “Christlike” in a way which puts them in circumstances they genuinely fear is likewise manipulative. Forgiveness and peace can’t thrive in fear. Love can’t thrive when someone feels unsafe. Allowing people the freedom to choose distance now is the path to them potentially choosing to be closer later.